An update on THE SCARLET JANE FILES (and why it's taking so long to finish them)

This might be a bit of a long post, but, I figured I'd post it here regardless, since it's about writing.

Anyhoo, with that said:

I am dreading finishing my SCARLET JANE FILES series of novellas.

However, it is not because I feel like I'll be sad when I finish them, or because I'm really worried about the worldbuilding process, or how it'll turn out. Rather, it's because every time I go back to them, I feel a sense of dread.

For context: I based practically every facet of THE SCARLET JANE FILES off of the places I lived in or visited within the state of Texas. These connections allowed me to build authentic representations of those places, whether they have been in the Austin area, the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, and the Rio Grande Valley.

Having lived there for nearly fifteen years, only to be forcibly uprooted by the flooding that took place in March, still heavily weighs on me, if only psychologically (and I say this almost six months after those events took place.)

The therapist I have been seeing says that the feelings of dread I experience every so often are normal, if only due to trauma. The brain's response, in many cases, is to take hold of that trauma and hold onto it — at times for days, weeks, months, maybe even years. HEALING from that trauma is an act that allows people to recover, but as the therapist put it: the trauma response is an ingrained one. For many, it leaves scar-like patterns in their psyche.

Which, I guess, is the long way of saying that each time I open that Scrivener world doc, I feel a mixture of emotions.

I managed to finish novella number 5 after dancing around the fact for so long. I WILL finish novella number 6. However, my idea of furthering that universe — in that I would continue building upon it with characters in that "deeper south" region — is quickly losing its appeal.

Which sucks, because I ended THE RED WOLF SAGA (which is phase 3 of the SUPERNATURAL SOUTH, and which follows THE SCARLET JANE FILES as phase 1 and THE ELEMENTS OF ICE as phase 2) in a way that bridges into phase 4. While I had planned to introduce characters from all around the United States, this whole response makes me feel uneasy and not particularly wanting to do it.

I had similar trauma responses after I underwent a life-changing health diagnosis in 2014. I also experienced it after my father passed away in 2020. However, neither of those traumas were intrinsically tied to the identity I had formed by living in the south...

Which I guess is where I have to do my soul searching the most.

While I will finish the SCARLET JANE FILES, if only because I feel that is the right thing to do, it might take me longer than expected.